So one time when I was visiting them… My sister-in-law was like Hey kids, you know what would be fun?  Aunt Rebecca can help you clean your rooms.  Byeeeeee….

And I was like, heck yeah, we got this!

Now I can put books on the bookshelf and put shoes in a pile of things that are also shoes, but a lot of the actual organizing, they have to be in charge of. So my niece is separating her clothes into Thing That Fit and Things That Don’t, and I go to help my nephew.  At first I offered to do all the Legos, because I know what a Lego looks like, but he’s already got all his Legos organized in a bin — I suspect that if his mom steps on a Lego she will throw it away. But there’s a huge pile of plastic toys on the floor.

Me: Ok, so what are all these?

Kyler: My toys.

Me: Right.  But what types of toys am I looking at?

Kyler: Toys I play with.

Me: Yes. Ok, these are remote control cars. I see other remote control cars parked under the bed. Is that where they go?  Yes.  Ok.  Here are some bouncy balls and here are some things made of Nerf. Let’s make piles of things that go together.

Kyler: The Nerf things go in the Armory.

Me: !?

Kyler opens his closet to display a surprisingly well-organized armory of plastic swords, wooden shields, velcro darts, and Nerf munitions sufficient to storm the Bastille.  He directs me to collect Mighty Beanz and Bey Blades, which are easy to recognize even though I had never heard of them.  Meanwhile he’s made a pile of …. mini golf discs, Monopoly money, some plastic sunglasses with a nose attached, and a small notebook.

Me: Kyler, you are supposed to make piles of things that go together.

Kyler: These go together.

Me: Well, let’s put the Monopoly money with the game.  Where is the game?

Kyler: No, this is different money. This is (whispers) spy gear

Me: Oh…. Right.  Ok, you are in charge of separating (whisper) Spy Gear from Pirate Loot, and I am going to go help your sister.

So it’s time to tackle Jaden’s pile of plastic toys.  She’s into animals, so I start assembling a pod of orcas and a pile of tiger cubs, and we could seriously be looking at a Whales v Cats Battle, but then

Me: Oh my god is that a dead guinea pig!?!?

Jaden: Zhuzhu

Me: what?

Zhuzhu: squeeeeeeeeeeeeee whoooooo purrrrrrrr squeeeeeeeeee

Me: AGHHHHHHHHHHH noooooooooooooooooooo

The Zhuzhu, once activated, would not be quiet, so we put it under a bucket where it rattled around in a very disturbing manner.

I approach the pile of toys more cautiously in case there’s anything else alive-ish in there.

Me: Tiny plastic comb?

Jaden: That belongs in the Littlest Pet Shop.

Me: Which one is the littlest one?

Jaden: No, that’s for PollyPockets. This is the Pet Shop.

Me: (Adding another plastic comb to the pet shop)

Jaden: That’s for the Calico Critters.  And that comb is for the BuildaBear. It goes in her suitcase.

The Bear’s suitcase was full of tiny plastic kittens. I did not question where the bear was going with a suitcase full of kittens.

Me: What the …  what is this?

Jaden: That’s a Furbie.

Me: Don’t feed it after midnight.

Jaden: ?

Me: Ok, do you want this orca with the other orcas, or should I put it with the other beanie babies?

Jaden: Those are webkins, actually.

Me: I thought these were webkins?

Jaden: Those are shopkins.

Me:  Ok, let me just check this. Poly Pockets, Calico Critters, Little Pony, Littlest Pet Shop,  Beanie Babies, Mighty Beanz,

Jaden: those are Kyler’s

Me: Right. Ok, zhuzhu, furbie, zooble, webkins, shopkins, and what are these?

Jaden: Squinkies.

Me: YOU ARE JUST MAKING THIS UP THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SQUINKY