{"id":2996,"date":"2012-04-11T10:40:23","date_gmt":"2012-04-11T17:40:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/?p=2996"},"modified":"2012-05-02T10:42:27","modified_gmt":"2012-05-02T17:42:27","slug":"a-sad-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/?p=2996","title":{"rendered":"A sad dream"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been dreaming unusually vivid dreams.\u00c2\u00a0 My dreams feel<\/em> real \u00e2\u20ac\u201c sunlight has warmth, surfaces have textures, food has taste and smell.<\/p>\n

I dreamed about a girl who was not my daughter, but she was a girl I loved, and she knew me, and trusted me.\u00c2\u00a0 She wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t actually Emily, but she was about the same height as Emily, and in my dream we were walking with our arms around each other.\u00c2\u00a0 She had leaned her head against my shoulder, and I kissed the top of her head, and I could smell the sunlight in her hair.\u00c2\u00a0 And I was overcome with a miserable jealousy, because she was not my daughter, and I could not keep the look from showing in my expression.\u00c2\u00a0 And somehow that expression froze on my face, like a mask.\u00c2\u00a0 The girl couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t see my face, and I was glad, because I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want her to see my jealousy, only to know that I loved her.\u00c2\u00a0 But there were other people around us, and when they saw the ugliness of my expression, they thought I was a monster.\u00c2\u00a0 When I woke up, all I could remember was the feel of her hair against my cheek, and my arm around her shoulder, and the shame of the jealousy frozen on my face.\u00c2\u00a0 I was sort of sad all day the next day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been dreaming unusually vivid dreams.\u00c2\u00a0 My dreams feel real \u00e2\u20ac\u201c sunlight has warmth, surfaces…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2996"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2996"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2998,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2996\/revisions\/2998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rebeccagibson.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}